So your in a relationship, marriage, partnership or union with the love of your life and just like most people, you thought being in this relationship would be the ultimate cure for your loneliness. You imagine trips together, late night caps, spontaneous dating and ultimately never being lonely again right? WRONG!!! When reality sets in you come to realize that your mate is actually their own person and while they may love you very much, they had their life before you and I suppose they plan on having their life while they are with you. So they decide to go and visit their family by themselves this time, or they hang out with the guys this weekend which just happens to be the weekend after you had a very long week and were looking forward to enjoying this weekend with your wonderful mate. So what do you do? Do you cry, get depressed, ignore them when they call or even better blow up their phone none stop? Well, none of these things will make you feel better so it's pointless to do them. This is the thing, they have a life so you should get a life too. What's that you say? Your life is the kids, work and ultimately really boring. Well I feel ya because I am basically the same way. I mean it's not that you don't want to do anything it's just that you may not have anyone to do anything with, or who is going to keep the kids while your gone because after all your, mate is gone too. Or my favorite, you don't have anywhere to go or the place you where you would like to go you can't afford to go. These things are so very frustrating but real life struggles. So, I think I have come up with a few things to help you get through the loneliness that can come with a relationship. First, it's important to evaluate yourself to determine if your loneliness is deeper than just wanting to spend time with your mate. There is a such thing as just feeling a little lonely verses wanting our mate to fill a void in our lives. If your looking for your mate to fill a void your asking them to meet a need that usually is too big for them to meet and doing this can easily push them away. No one person can meet anyone's need that's why we have multiple friends, family members etc. Taking the time to see where your loneliness is coming from can help you address the right issue which might not be with your mate. Second, take the time your lover is gone to venture out and do something you have been wanting to do for a while or something completely new like writing, reading, exercising, getting your hair and nails done or whatever you choose. You might be surprised at how much you actually enjoy spending time with yourself and might even start to look forward to some alone time. Lastly, know that it's okay to feel sad and miss your mate from time to time. As long as their absence is not excessive and your not worried about any additional issues, know that your mate will be back and hopefully in a better space because they have had sometime to get rejuvenated and are now ready to spend more quality time with you. Just make sure they know that you will be going with them on their trips from time to time because after all, they are your mate and this is a RELATIONSHIP.
