Emotional Channels

Do you know what emotional channels are? You probably don't because I believe I made it up, lol, but as I start to talk about it in this blog, I am sure you will be familiar with the concept that I am presenting. When you sit down to watch TV and you desire to see a movie you probably turn to your movie stations or Netflix, Hulu or something like that. When you want too see music entertainment you might turn to BET, MTV or VH1. When you want to see drama you may turn to Bravo or Lifetime movie network. The point is your able to turn to different channels based on different things you want to see.  But what if you only had one or two stations and had to try and be entertained by the one or two channels you have access too. For example, if you only had CNN and the Word Network but really wanted to watch a movie or even better the tv show Power, you would become very frustrated and possibly miserable. You would have to hope CNN has enough news drama that can substitute your desire to see a good movie. Well that is also how it works for some people when it comes to their emotions. When and individual has suffered from some form of trauma, abuse, mental health issue or simply not taught how to deal with different emotions, they may not have the skill set to handle very many emotions properly. For example, they may express the same emotion for every feeling, like when their sad they express anger, when they are depressed they express anger, when they are anxious guess what? Yep, they express anger. When they are hungry or agitated, you got it, they express anger and finally when they are angry they really express anger. Do you know anyone like this? Now mind you I used anger as the common emotion as an example but it could be anything else such as depression, anxiety etc. So how do you deal with a person like this? Or, what if you are the person who is like this? How do you overcome it?  Well it's quite simple, you have to gain more emotional channels. Now although the solution sounds simple, actually putting it in place takes some work because it requires change. Generally when people only express one emotion for different feelings it's because that particular emotion that they are expressing is the emotion that is more accepted and gets them the results they are looking for or that emotion is the only emotion that was modeled to them and they learned how to best portray. For example, if a guy gets his feelings are hurt and he shows anger generally his anger is more accepted by his peers or society verses him crying. Also, his father may have taught him that men do not cry.

 So, in order to develop more emotional channels, the individual must first be reassured that it's okay to give the appropriate response to the actual emotion they are experiencing.  Secondly, the individual may also have to learn what emotion they are actually feeling as they might not know since they have become accustomed to showing one emotion for multiple feelings. Lastly, it's important for the individual to exam what benefits they get from consistently expressing the same emotion. This can be hard to identify because most people will say they do not receive a benefit from their emotional behaviors however I guarantee you they are getting something out of it or they would not consistently be doing it. Even if it's nothing more than comfort or emotional release. 

Now in regards to being the person actually dealing with the individual who has limited emotional channels, it's important to understand the why behind the emotion they are showing. This helps develop patience and empathy and can decrease your frustration with the individual. Next you need to set emotional boundaries with the individual. When you set your boundaries of what behaviors you will and won't accept, it helps the person become mindful of what behaviors they are showing and helps them self correct. Lastly, keep the doors of communication open with the individual. Openly processing with the individual is beneficial for both parties involved. It allows the individual to actually understand what they are doing wrong and gives them an opportunity to learn how to do it right as well as gives you the opportunity to share your feelings about the behaviors that you disapprove of.

So if you know someone or are the one who has limited emotional channels, I encourage you to follow the things discussed in this blog. Doing this gives the opportunity to increase emotional channels which in return can bring emotional health to you and everyone around you.